12/10/09
Santa Attacks
Santa had always been worried that why he has one brother while his sister has two?????
**********
Santa selling parachute, tells the customer "jump from plane n press button & you can land safely."
CUSTOMER: if it doesn't open????
SARDAR : PAISA WAPAS.......
**********
Santa is walking along the road. He sees a banana peel. What does he think??
"UFF, Aj phir girna padega!!"
Then next day he is walking along the road, he sees two banana peels. What does he think????????
"Ispe se giru, ya uspe se????"
Then the day after that he sees a lot of banana peels on the road. So he calls home and tells his wife..
"AAj ghar late aaoonga!!"
**********
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.
Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.
When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.
Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
**********
Bush: Impossible does not come in my dictionary...
Santa: Phir dictionary dhek ke kharidni chahiye thi na. .
**********
Ekbar light gai hui thi.
SANTA : arre Banta bahuat garmi ho rahi hai, zara pankha lagana..
BANTA : kardi na sardaronwali baat!! Pankha lagaya to moombatti bujh na jayegi??
**********
Customer: Is mirror ki guarantee kya hai?
Santa : It is 99% safe.! 100 feet se fenkoge to 99 feet tak kuchh nahi hoga"!
**********
Teacher to Santa " Where were U born?
Santa : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Santa : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
**********
Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have come again..
**********
Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Santa : I was watching TV na....
**********
Santa selling parachute, tells the customer "jump from plane n press button & you can land safely."
CUSTOMER: if it doesn't open????
SARDAR : PAISA WAPAS.......
**********
Santa is walking along the road. He sees a banana peel. What does he think??
"UFF, Aj phir girna padega!!"
Then next day he is walking along the road, he sees two banana peels. What does he think????????
"Ispe se giru, ya uspe se????"
Then the day after that he sees a lot of banana peels on the road. So he calls home and tells his wife..
"AAj ghar late aaoonga!!"
**********
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.
Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.
When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.
Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
**********
Bush: Impossible does not come in my dictionary...
Santa: Phir dictionary dhek ke kharidni chahiye thi na. .
**********
Ekbar light gai hui thi.
SANTA : arre Banta bahuat garmi ho rahi hai, zara pankha lagana..
BANTA : kardi na sardaronwali baat!! Pankha lagaya to moombatti bujh na jayegi??
**********
Customer: Is mirror ki guarantee kya hai?
Santa : It is 99% safe.! 100 feet se fenkoge to 99 feet tak kuchh nahi hoga"!
**********
Teacher to Santa " Where were U born?
Santa : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Santa : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
**********
Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have come again..
**********
Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Santa : I was watching TV na....
12/8/09
Water Theraphy
Some interesting stuff from water therapy!!!
Amazing! But True!!
6 glasses of water (1.5 litres). Without spending on medicine,
tablets, injections, diagnosis, Doctor fees, etc., just by drinking pure water, the
following diseases will be cured. You can never believe before practicing.
Let us see the list of diseases being cured by this therapy Diseases cured
by Drinking water
1. Headache
2. Blood Pressure/Hyper Tension
3. Anemia (Blood Shortage)
4. Rheumatism (Pain in joints/ muscles)
5. General Paralysis
6. Obesity
7. Arthritis
8. Sinusitis
9. Tachycardia
10. Giddiness
11. Cough (Khansi)
12. Asthma
13. Bronchitis
14. Pulmonary Tuberculosis (TB)
15. Meningitis
16. Kidney stones
17. Urogenital diseases
18. Hyper acidity
19. Gastroenteritis
20. Dysentery
21. Rect! al Piodapse
22. Constipation (Kabj)
23. Hostorthobics
24. Diabetes (Madhumeh)
25. Eye diseases
26. Ophthalmic Hemorrhage & Opthalmia (reddish eye)
27. Irregular Menstruation
28. Leukemia (white Blood)
29. Uterine cancer
30. Laryngitis
How to do this watertherapy?
1) Early morning after you get up from bed (without even
brushing your teeth) drink 1.50 litres of water i.e., 5 to 6 glasses. Better to
pre-measure 1.50 litres of water. Let us all know that our ancestors termed
this therapy as "Usha Paana Chikitsa". You may wash your face thereafter.
2) Here it is very essential to note that nothing else -
neither drinks nor solid food of any sort - should be taken within 1 hours before and after drinking this 1.50 litres of water.
3) It is also to be strictly observed that no Alcoholic drinks
should be taken the previous night.
4) If required, boiled and filtered water may ! be used for
this purpose.
Is it possible to drink 1.50 litres of water at one time?
To begin with, one may find it difficult to drink 1.50 litres
of water at one time, but one will get used to it gradually. Initially, while
practicing you may drink four glasses first and the balance two glasses after a gap of two minutes. Initially you may find the necessity to urinate 2 to 3 times
within an hour, but it will become normal after sometime.
By research and experience, the following diseases are
observed to be cured with this therapy within the indicated days as below:
Constipation 1 day
Acidity 2 days
Diabetes 7 days
BP & Hypertension 4 weeks
Cancer 4 weeks
Pulmonary TB 3 months
Note:
It is advised that persons suffering from Arthritis or
Rheumatism should practice this therapy thrice a day, i.e., morning, midday and night, 1 hours before! meals - for one week; and twice a day subsequently till the disease is cured.
How does pure water act?
Consuming ordinary drinking water by the right method purifies
human body. It renders the colon more effective by forming new fresh blood, known in
medical terms as Haematopaises. That the mucousal folds of the colon and
intestines are activated by this method, is an undisputed fact, just as the
theory that new fresh blood is produced by the mucousal fold.
If the colon is cleaned then the nutrients of the food taken
several times a day will be absorbed and by the action of the mucousal folds they are
turned into fresh blood. The blood is all-important in curing ailments and
restoring health, and for this water should be consumed in a regular
pattern. We make an earnest request that the above method should be read and
practiced carefully.
Please spread this message to your friends, relatives and
neighbours
Amazing! But True!!
6 glasses of water (1.5 litres). Without spending on medicine,
tablets, injections, diagnosis, Doctor fees, etc., just by drinking pure water, the
following diseases will be cured. You can never believe before practicing.
Let us see the list of diseases being cured by this therapy Diseases cured
by Drinking water
1. Headache
2. Blood Pressure/Hyper Tension
3. Anemia (Blood Shortage)
4. Rheumatism (Pain in joints/ muscles)
5. General Paralysis
6. Obesity
7. Arthritis
8. Sinusitis
9. Tachycardia
10. Giddiness
11. Cough (Khansi)
12. Asthma
13. Bronchitis
14. Pulmonary Tuberculosis (TB)
15. Meningitis
16. Kidney stones
17. Urogenital diseases
18. Hyper acidity
19. Gastroenteritis
20. Dysentery
21. Rect! al Piodapse
22. Constipation (Kabj)
23. Hostorthobics
24. Diabetes (Madhumeh)
25. Eye diseases
26. Ophthalmic Hemorrhage & Opthalmia (reddish eye)
27. Irregular Menstruation
28. Leukemia (white Blood)
29. Uterine cancer
30. Laryngitis
How to do this watertherapy?
1) Early morning after you get up from bed (without even
brushing your teeth) drink 1.50 litres of water i.e., 5 to 6 glasses. Better to
pre-measure 1.50 litres of water. Let us all know that our ancestors termed
this therapy as "Usha Paana Chikitsa". You may wash your face thereafter.
2) Here it is very essential to note that nothing else -
neither drinks nor solid food of any sort - should be taken within 1 hours before and after drinking this 1.50 litres of water.
3) It is also to be strictly observed that no Alcoholic drinks
should be taken the previous night.
4) If required, boiled and filtered water may ! be used for
this purpose.
Is it possible to drink 1.50 litres of water at one time?
To begin with, one may find it difficult to drink 1.50 litres
of water at one time, but one will get used to it gradually. Initially, while
practicing you may drink four glasses first and the balance two glasses after a gap of two minutes. Initially you may find the necessity to urinate 2 to 3 times
within an hour, but it will become normal after sometime.
By research and experience, the following diseases are
observed to be cured with this therapy within the indicated days as below:
Constipation 1 day
Acidity 2 days
Diabetes 7 days
BP & Hypertension 4 weeks
Cancer 4 weeks
Pulmonary TB 3 months
Note:
It is advised that persons suffering from Arthritis or
Rheumatism should practice this therapy thrice a day, i.e., morning, midday and night, 1 hours before! meals - for one week; and twice a day subsequently till the disease is cured.
How does pure water act?
Consuming ordinary drinking water by the right method purifies
human body. It renders the colon more effective by forming new fresh blood, known in
medical terms as Haematopaises. That the mucousal folds of the colon and
intestines are activated by this method, is an undisputed fact, just as the
theory that new fresh blood is produced by the mucousal fold.
If the colon is cleaned then the nutrients of the food taken
several times a day will be absorbed and by the action of the mucousal folds they are
turned into fresh blood. The blood is all-important in curing ailments and
restoring health, and for this water should be consumed in a regular
pattern. We make an earnest request that the above method should be read and
practiced carefully.
Please spread this message to your friends, relatives and
neighbours
Fuss on Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm in sorrow he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
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