Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab ..
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
--------------------
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
---------------------
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
------------------
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
------------------------
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
-----------------------
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,
oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is
he crying?
---------------------
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
-----------------------
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
--------------------
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!
------------------------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
------------------------------------------
12/4/09
Heart Surgery Free of Cost
For any kind of heart surgery free of cost .
Contact :
Sri Sathya Sai Institute Higher Medical Sciences, E.P.I.P. Area, WhiteField, Bangalore
Write to us
Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences
EPIP Area, Whitefield,
Bangalore 560 066,
Karnataka , INDIA .
Call us
Telephone: +91- 080- 28411500
Fax +91 - 080- 28411502
Employment related +91- 080- 28411500 Ext. 415
Email us
General Queries: adminblr@sssihms.org.in
Pass it to all, it will help some
Contact :
Sri Sathya Sai Institute Higher Medical Sciences, E.P.I.P. Area, WhiteField, Bangalore
Write to us
Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences
EPIP Area, Whitefield,
Bangalore 560 066,
Karnataka , INDIA .
Call us
Telephone: +91- 080- 28411500
Fax +91 - 080- 28411502
Employment related +91- 080- 28411500 Ext. 415
Email us
General Queries: adminblr@sssihms.org.in
Pass it to all, it will help some
Before and After Marriage
>> Before the marriage:
>>
>> He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
>>
>> She: Do you want me to leave?
>>
>> He: NO! Don't even think about it.
>>
>> She: Do you love me?
>>
>> He: Of course!
>>
>> She: Have you ever cheated on me?
>>
>> He: NO! Why you even asking?
>>
>> She: Will you kiss me?
>>
>> He: Yes!
>>
>> She: Will you hit me?
>>
>> He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
>>
>> She: Can I trust you?
>>
>> Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top
>>!!!!
>>
>> He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
>>
>> She: Do you want me to leave?
>>
>> He: NO! Don't even think about it.
>>
>> She: Do you love me?
>>
>> He: Of course!
>>
>> She: Have you ever cheated on me?
>>
>> He: NO! Why you even asking?
>>
>> She: Will you kiss me?
>>
>> He: Yes!
>>
>> She: Will you hit me?
>>
>> He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
>>
>> She: Can I trust you?
>>
>> Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top
>>!!!!
40 Tips for Better Life
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead Invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead Invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
Some Greatest Achievements of Sachin
4th highest tally of runs in test cricket (10,134) at an outstanding average of 57.25 (highest among those who have scored over 8,500 test runs) as of March 2005
Most runs (over 13642) and centuries (38) in one-day internationals
Only person to have scored over 11,000 ODI runs and over 25 ODI centuries as of April 28, 2005
Highest ODI batting average among Indian batsmen and among all batsmen who have scored over 7,500 ODI runs (as of April 3, 2005)
Most Number of Man of the Matches in one-day internationals
Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs in ODIs as of April 2005
Most Number of Runs in World Cup Cricket History
First cricketer to cross 10,000-run mark in ODIs
Has equalled Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 test centuries.
Among those who have played over 100 test matches, he is the only one with a batting average above 55.
Only second Indian to cross 10,000 runs in Test matches.
He has the most centuries in ODI cricket against Australia, South Africa , New Zealand , Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe .
He is the fastest to score 10,000 runs in test cricket history. He holds this record along with Brian Lara. Both of them achieved this feat in 195 innings.
To go with this he has 34 hundreds in Test cricket at an average of 57. An average above 50 distinguishes a batsman as an all time great.
Highest individual score in ODIs among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999)
Most runs (over 13642) and centuries (38) in one-day internationals
Only person to have scored over 11,000 ODI runs and over 25 ODI centuries as of April 28, 2005
Highest ODI batting average among Indian batsmen and among all batsmen who have scored over 7,500 ODI runs (as of April 3, 2005)
Most Number of Man of the Matches in one-day internationals
Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs in ODIs as of April 2005
Most Number of Runs in World Cup Cricket History
First cricketer to cross 10,000-run mark in ODIs
Has equalled Sunil Gavaskar
Among those who have played over 100 test matches, he is the only one with a batting average above 55.
Only second Indian to cross 10,000 runs in Test matches.
He has the most centuries in ODI cricket against Australia
He is the fastest to score 10,000 runs in test cricket history. He holds this record along with Brian Lara. Both of them achieved this feat in 195 innings.
To go with this he has 34 hundreds in Test cricket at an average of 57. An average above 50 distinguishes a batsman as an all time great.
Highest individual score in ODIs among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999)
Husband and Wife
Wife: ?Honey, what are you looking for??
Husband: ?Nothing.?
Wife: ?Nothing..?? You?ve been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour???
Husband: ?I was just looking for the expiration date.?
Wife: ?Do you want dinner??
Husband: ?Sure, what are my choices??
Wife: ?Yes or No.?
Wife: ?What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body??
Husband, after looked at her from head to toe: ?I like your sense of humor.?
Girl to her Boyfriend: ?One kiss and I?ll be yours forever.?
The guy replied: ?Thanks for the warning.?
Son: ?Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.?
Mom: ?Well, you have done the right thing.?
Son: ?But mom, I was sitting on daddy?s lap.?
Interviewer to Millionaire: ?To whom do you own your success as a millionire??
Millionaire: ?I owe everything to my wife.?
Interviewer: ?Wow, she must be a great woman.? ?What were you before married
her??
Millionaire: ?A billionaire.?
Wife: ?You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?
Husband: ?When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.?
Wife: ?You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you??
Husband: ?Yes, I see you photo and say to myself, what other problem can there
be greater than this one??
Husband: ?Nothing.?
Wife: ?Nothing..?? You?ve been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour???
Husband: ?I was just looking for the expiration date.?
Wife: ?Do you want dinner??
Husband: ?Sure, what are my choices??
Wife: ?Yes or No.?
Wife: ?What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body??
Husband, after looked at her from head to toe: ?I like your sense of humor.?
Girl to her Boyfriend: ?One kiss and I?ll be yours forever.?
The guy replied: ?Thanks for the warning.?
Son: ?Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up
my seat to a lady.?
Mom: ?Well, you have done the right thing.?
Son: ?But mom, I was sitting on daddy?s lap.?
Interviewer to Millionaire: ?To whom do you own your success as a millionire??
Millionaire: ?I owe everything to my wife.?
Interviewer: ?Wow, she must be a great woman.? ?What were you before married
her??
Millionaire: ?A billionaire.?
Wife: ?You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?
Husband: ?When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.?
Wife: ?You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you??
Husband: ?Yes, I see you photo and say to myself, what other problem can there
be greater than this one??
12/3/09
ASPIRIN
ASPIRIN: Why Aspirin by your bed? Save lives...
It is important to always have ASPIRIN in the home!!!
Why have Aspirin by your bedside?
ABOUT HEART ATTACKS
There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as
nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur
less frequently.
NOTE : There may be no pain in the chest during an heart attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had an heart attack during their
sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up
from your deep sleep.
If that happens, IMMEDIATELY DISSOLVE TWO ASPIRINS IN YOUR MOUTH
and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards, phone a neighbour or a family member who lives very close by
and state "HEART ATTACK!!!" and that you have taken 2 ASPIRINS
Take a seat on a chair or sofa and wait for their arrival and ....
DO NOT LIE DOWN !!!
It is important to always have ASPIRIN in the home!!!
Why have Aspirin by your bedside?
ABOUT HEART ATTACKS
There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as
nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur
less frequently.
NOTE : There may be no pain in the chest during an heart attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had an heart attack during their
sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up
from your deep sleep.
If that happens, IMMEDIATELY DISSOLVE TWO ASPIRINS IN YOUR MOUTH
and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards, phone a neighbour or a family member who lives very close by
and state "HEART ATTACK!!!" and that you have taken 2 ASPIRINS
Take a seat on a chair or sofa and wait for their arrival and ....
DO NOT LIE DOWN !!!
12/1/09
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