Money is not everything
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals
they are so tasty.
Love thy neighbor
But don't get caught .
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
A good discussion is like a miniskirt
Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
Behind every successful man, there is one woman
and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Wise never marry
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning
"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"
So what? Who's in a hurry?
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an exception!)
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So. Why learn.
12/19/09
12/18/09
12/17/09
12/16/09
The Corporate language !!
"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"
"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
means
" You will do it"
"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
Joke
One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives
complaining of Serious back pain. The doctor examines
him and asks him
" OK,what happened to your back?" The patient replies,
"You know that I work for a local night club? This morning
I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife
and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door
and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I
saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed
the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car
wreck.The doctor said
"My previous patient was looked bad, but you look terrible.
What the hell happened to you?" He replied,
"You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was
the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was
running late.I was running out of the building, getting
dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was
hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other
two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks,
"What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
complaining of Serious back pain. The doctor examines
him and asks him
" OK,what happened to your back?" The patient replies,
"You know that I work for a local night club? This morning
I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife
and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door
and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I
saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed
the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car
wreck.The doctor said
"My previous patient was looked bad, but you look terrible.
What the hell happened to you?" He replied,
"You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was
the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was
running late.I was running out of the building, getting
dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was
hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other
two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks,
"What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
12/15/09
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
